Well it’s been months since I blogged. What a year – my father is dying of cancer and I have been adjusting to life as a separated person moving towards divorce. Some days I go, enough already what am I supposed to be learning, and others I just deal with whatever is in front of me at the moment and apply my zen philosophies as best I can.
I actually have learned a lot:
- People are very helpful when you do ask for help
- Medical science is a long and winding road with many tangents and answers often come slowly
- You have to push for answers and persist and you also have to have patience (who me?)
- It is so important to connect with friends and have fun as well as asking for support
- Living in the moment to grieve, to rant, to cry, and to laugh – is so important and at times so difficult
- It is easy to let fear consume me
- It is hard to accept that right now things are hard
- The Buddhist philosophy of impermanence and non-attachment are very helpful and yet so difficult to maintain
I see 2015 as a chance to deepen my daily living practice around these lessons and to be thankful for life, friends, family, life experience, beauty, and the opportunity to breath in and notice and breath out and let go.